Some of the Benefits of Being a Nurse

Nursing is THE secure career choice. Long after Boeing goes kahooie from the weight of their union pensions, nurses will still be in demand. Lots of perks, too. Here are just a few:

1. The look on a belligerent drunk's face when you explain to him or her EXACTLY where that tube is going.

2. Wearing your pajamas to work.

3. The wonder you feel about the things you find in an abdomino-pelvic X-ray.

4. Getting paid to say, "Relax. This'll only hurt for a few seconds."

5. Learning how to compare the appearance of potable fluids with bodily fluids.

6. Learning how to keep a straight face when you hear a patient say "I swear to God- I have NO IDEA how that got there."

7. Learning how to suppress the urge to laugh uncontrollably until AFTER your leave your patient's room.

8. Meet girls. Or boys. Or something that isn't quite either of those but makes an interesting topic for breakroom discussion.

9. Grossing your in-laws out when you tell them EXACTLY what that London Broil looks like.

10. Learning how to use bedpans for skis in the parking lot on a snowy day.

11. Learning to identify ANYTHING that could possibly be used as an emesis basin in less than one second.

12. Job security through 2394 with overtime and shift differentials.

13. An endless supply of subjects for dinner table conversation.

14. Walking to your car completely exhausted but light as a feather because YOU helped bring back someone's mom, dad, wife, husband, or kid. (That is totally cool)

Yeah, I really got the 2004 Ronald Reagan Republican Gold Medal.

Just so you know that I wasn't kidding.